Previous Post. So. We now have two chapters and 12 pages left to go, but this next chapter is 11 pages and the final chapter is one. I feel that you'll be okay with me splitting the page count right down the middle and ending somewhere around the six-page mark. Because I promise you the … Continue reading Christian Grey Hates Condoms, Loves Condiments: Chapter 24 of EL James’s “Grey”
Previous Post. 22 pages to go. Let's do this. This chapter opens with Christian having a dream about fucking Ana against a door: We're fucking. Fucking hard. Against the bathroom door. I avoided covering a lot of the sex scenes in this book because they were repetitive, boring, and nearly identical to the descriptions from … Continue reading Schlock Therapy and Liquid Dreams: Chapter 23 of EL James’s “Grey”
Previous Post. Oh, forgive me. In the last post I said that every chapter opens with someone just waking up -- but that's not true. Because each chapter, like a shitty textual Cinderella, must end at the stroke of midnight. So if Christian hasn't gone to bed by midnight, we instead pick up at random moments … Continue reading The Grammar Wizard: Chapter 22 of EL James’s “Grey”
Previous Post. We open, as always, with Christian waking up. Every chapter opens with people waking up, every chapter closes with people going to bed. What a fantastic way to tell a story, EL James. Back to Christian. Guess what? He's tormented: Sleep eludes me. I'm tormented by Ana's fragrance, which still clings to my bedsheets. … Continue reading Christian the Tragic Spank-Happy Hamlet: Chapter 21 of EL James’s “Grey”
Previous Post. We pick up in swirling post-spanking aftermath, in which Ana realizes that she really, truly isn't into BDSM -- or at least isn't into what Christian wants from her. Which isn't BDSM so much as straight-forward abuse. Ana begins crying and calls Grey a "fucked-up son of a bitch" who needs to "sort [his] … Continue reading Christian Builds a Glider Like a Big Boy: Chapter 20.2 of EL James’s “Grey”
Previous Post. Trigger Warning: Abuse, Domestic Violence So we still have 6 chapters left. How? I know, I'm as shocked as you are. Because this is Chapter 20, so technically I should be about 75% of the way through the book. But I'm not. I'm 88% of the way through the book. Which means that … Continue reading The Spankening, Part One: Chapter 20 of EL James’s “Grey”
Ding ding! So instead of completing her “Twilight from Edward’s perspective” book, Stephanie Meyer just dropped a brand-new Twilight re-write on the world, and if you don’t think this is Meyer thumbing her nose at James, you’re... probably right, but let me dream: Life and Death: Twilight Reimagined brings us the gender-swapped story of the … Continue reading STEPHANIE MEYER V. EL JAMES, ROUND 2!