Disco Witches Recap 8: Diana pretends not to be horny, and we forgive her for it

After that short interruption, we're back in Diana's head and we pick up quite literally where we left off: Four hours later I woke up on top of the duvet, clutching the phone. - p. 30 I don't remember her passing out mid-conversation, but let's go with it. Diana looks at the clock and realizes … Continue reading Disco Witches Recap 8: Diana pretends not to be horny, and we forgive her for it

Disco Witches Recap 7: Matthew Clairmont is equal parts spy and sex kitten

Once upon a time, Stephanie Meyer had planned to rewrite Twilight from Edward's point of view (working title: Midnight Sun). But then someone leaked an early draft online, she got mad and scrapped the whole idea. Later, when Meyer was about to revive it, EL James came out with her Grey series (50 Shades from … Continue reading Disco Witches Recap 7: Matthew Clairmont is equal parts spy and sex kitten

Disco Witches Recap 5: Introducing Matthew Clairmont, a very original vampire

So here we are. On the verge of a plot. Diana has just encountered a vampire lurking in the library. She's turned to face him. She's mentally reviewed about 5000 random facts and details about her life, but now she's ready to describe something actually happening in front of her. This one was tall--well over … Continue reading Disco Witches Recap 5: Introducing Matthew Clairmont, a very original vampire

Disco Witches Recap 4: Finally, some hot vampire action (just kidding)

Unfounded theory time: I have a sneaking suspicion that these books started out as Twilight fanfiction. And while I can't prove it, it's something I'd like you to keep in the back of your mind as we continue to trudge through these recaps. So, anyway, where were we? Oxford's bells chimed seven times. Night didn't … Continue reading Disco Witches Recap 4: Finally, some hot vampire action (just kidding)

Disco Witches Recap 3: She opens the book and all hell breaks loose (it doesn’t)

If you've ever read The Princess Bride (and you should) there's a running joke throughout the book where -- right before the action starts (sword fights, rock fights, etc.) -- the author interrupts the scene with a ton of really long, really boring backstory. It's funny in theory, and it kind of works, but notably … Continue reading Disco Witches Recap 3: She opens the book and all hell breaks loose (it doesn’t)

Disco Witches Recap 2: Diana needs to think about her whole life before opening a book

When we left off, Diana had taken a book out of the library and was absolutely refusing to open it. On we go: Diana now informs us that she's a reluctant witch. You see, she's spent years trying to create a barrier between academic work and witchcraft. Her academic work... studying 17th century alchemy. In … Continue reading Disco Witches Recap 2: Diana needs to think about her whole life before opening a book

Disco Witches Recap 1: Diana Bishop is in no way a Mary Sue and how dare you suggest it

I'm never 100% sure how to start my recaps. Basically, these books are terrible but the opening is mostly... fine. I'll try to guide you quickly through the majority of this chapter, taking time to pause on the truly ridiculous elements. But hopefully you'll glean some concept of the overall plot and characters as we … Continue reading Disco Witches Recap 1: Diana Bishop is in no way a Mary Sue and how dare you suggest it