Suicide is So Inconvenient for Lord Moneydick: Chapter 18.3 of EL James’s “Grey”

Previous Post. Okay, folks. I can do this. I can make it to the end of Chapter 18. We pick up with Christian back at his hotel room and it seems that Ana may have melted his icy robot exterior. Let's all gather round to watch this heartwarming moment: In my room, I call Taylor. … Continue reading Suicide is So Inconvenient for Lord Moneydick: Chapter 18.3 of EL James’s “Grey”

Please Do Not Have Sex at IHOP: Chapter 18.2 of EL James’s “Grey”

Previous Post. When we left off, Ana and Christian just finished flying in a glider plane which managed to talk up half of a very long chapter. Now we pick up as the exciting, vivacious couple goes for breakfast. Every moment is gripping and fast-paced: will Ana have waffles or pancakes? Will there be several … Continue reading Please Do Not Have Sex at IHOP: Chapter 18.2 of EL James’s “Grey”

Flying is a Sex Metaphor, and Other Lazy Cliches: Chapter 18 of EL James’s “Grey”

Previous Post. Take a long pull of scotch in your sky fortress and stare into the reticent night's sky because it's time for another recap. I'm going to keep promising that these recaps will be more regular and I'll probably keep failing to come through. But hey -- they're free and they're slowly ebbing my capacity … Continue reading Flying is a Sex Metaphor, and Other Lazy Cliches: Chapter 18 of EL James’s “Grey”

Yes, It’s the Tampon Scene: Chapter 17.2 of EL James’s “Grey”

Previous Post. We pick up after another long hiatus (sorry, everyone -- it's been crazy. I have no walls or ceiling right now, etc.). As you may or may not recall, Christian Grey just happened to be staying at the exact hotel that Ana was drinking at, because of course he was, and he used his … Continue reading Yes, It’s the Tampon Scene: Chapter 17.2 of EL James’s “Grey”

Fried Green Cosmos and Accidental Stalkers: Chapter 17 of EL James’s “Grey”

Previous Post. After what was the most boring chapter so far, this latest entry has the audacity to open with the line: "It's been an interesting morning." Which tells me either that EL James is deliberately fucking with her readership, or else that her formative years were spent rapturously watching mold collect on soggy toast, because … Continue reading Fried Green Cosmos and Accidental Stalkers: Chapter 17 of EL James’s “Grey”

The Mile High Club and SHOUTY CAPITALS: Chapter 16 of EL James’s “Grey”

Previous Post. Today's recap should be relatively short because this is another portion of the book where Ana and Christian aren't together, and EL James can't really be bothered to think of things for Christian to do when Ana's not around. So strap in for some vague business, tedious e-mailing, coffee with or without milk, … Continue reading The Mile High Club and SHOUTY CAPITALS: Chapter 16 of EL James’s “Grey”

Eggs, Bacon, Grits, and Rape Threats: Chapter 15.2 of EL James’s “Grey”

Previous Post. I'm back and we're going to try to make it through the second half of the chapter today. Prayers and alcohol are always welcome. Ana has just had a shower -- thrilling stuff -- and is now in the kitchen about to have breakfast. Since this next scene involves food, you know it's … Continue reading Eggs, Bacon, Grits, and Rape Threats: Chapter 15.2 of EL James’s “Grey”

Christian Grey and the Chamber of Apples: Chapter 15 of EL James’s “Grey”

Previous Post. Last time on the recaps that will never end, I managed to finish up the world's longest chapter even though EL James had the fucking gall to break off in the MIDDLE of a scene because technically their conversation happened on either side of midnight. Because this is the kind of genius writing mind … Continue reading Christian Grey and the Chamber of Apples: Chapter 15 of EL James’s “Grey”

Beef Wellington and Boathouse Rape: Chapter 14.3 of EL James’s “Grey”

Previous Post. We return for the third (and hopefully, please God, final) time to the world's longest chapter. Christian has just threateningly informed his girlfriend that she is in BIG TROUBLE for making plans to visit her mother without asking him first, and now they return to the table: Mom has gone all out--best china, … Continue reading Beef Wellington and Boathouse Rape: Chapter 14.3 of EL James’s “Grey”

Nothing Comes Between Christian and His DJs: Chapter 14.2 of EL James’s “Grey”

Previous Post. We pick up from my random cut-off point yesterday where Ana had finished her ethically questionable in-house gynecological exam. This chapter isn't even close to being done. Christian asks Ana how she liked the whole experience: "Fine, thank you," she answers. "She said that I had to abstain from all sexual activity for the … Continue reading Nothing Comes Between Christian and His DJs: Chapter 14.2 of EL James’s “Grey”